April 23, 2015

Modern Motherhood

Today as I was taking a shower and thinking about all the things I need to do today, and I had one of those epiphanies that I only have in the bathroom. I don’t know what it is about a bathroom, but I tend to do my best thinking there. And no, this isn’t sitting on the pot thinking, but I wrote my college admissions essay on the bathroom floor and always have huge thoughts in the shower or bath.

Back to my break through moment, it suddenly hit me. Modern motherhood, with its seemingly unrelenting list of to dos is not just unrealistic, it’s suffocating. Exhausting. It drowns you.

We named my company Club MomMe because we wanted to turn the “me” into a mom, and I still call my mom the somewhat juvenile name mommy, because it is such a sweet term of endearment.

But where is the me?

How do moms today, with the constant pressure to not just make lunch, but to make a highly stylized plate of organic, beautiful styled food on a nontoxic plate with no waste, plan the most memorable birthday party, with personalized items styled just for my child from etsy, do the normal mom tasks, clean my house, do the dishes, laundry, make sure my kids have clothes that fit, are signed up for fun classes, on the best preschool lists, have their haircut and styled perfectly, with the right accessories, the newest toys and age appropriate books…

Oh wait, that is just what is on my plate to do for my kids.

There’s also my business to run, social media posts, newsletters, events to plan, calls, emails, this and that. People reach out to you on email, text, Facebook messenger, meetup, I just can’t keep up. I am drowning in modern motherhood.

I saw a good buddy last night. He has what we think we all want. A rising star. A book author, who was able to quit his job and do what he loves. But is he doing what he loves, running from thing to thing, the constant quest to write posts, fly here and there, meanwhile, he is away from his family often and losing weight.
It’s unrelenting. It’s never ending.

What is modern motherhood?

Social media has put so much pressure on us that we almost become automated creatures, bouncing from here to there, with virtually no me time, no time to just be, it’s this crazy pressure and weight that just doesn’t go away.

Is this really what we strive to become? Is this the evolution of motherhood, to have to make things look perfect and pretty and glossy?

Is this what modern technology has done to us? Made us feel like we are inadequate unless we are these seemingly perfect moms who find it hard to enjoy moments because of the list, constant list of things to do?!

Seriously, I am asking here.  Thoughts below?
Last week I did a photo shoot with my 14 month old adorable baby.  I got a ton of fun props, set it up, and she cried, no she BALLED through all of it.  The best picture I could get, I splashed upon social media, more as an idea for moms to be able to do-it-yourself at home (with items mostly purchased at Target instead of hand-selected on Etsy).  But again, I AM FEEDING INTO IT AGAIN! Because of course I only post the BEST picture….right?! Even though that wasn’t my experience at all.

So I tomorrow we are doing a photo contest.  Not best picture of cutest kid, but best #EasterBunnyFaily (Or #SpringBunnyFail for my Jewish friends).  Motherhood is not perfect.  As my friend Leah confessed today, sometimes she makes breakfast for dinner.

And you know what? I LOVE breakfast for dinner!

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