November 29, 2016

Social Media Anxiety: FOMO

Let’s talk about social media anxiety.  The fear of missing out based on pictures, captions, messages, tweets or posts you see online.  Or should I say the irrational fear of missing out, because you don’t even know what you if you actually are missing out from anything.

Let me give you an example.  For the past 5 years, a tv channel has invited me to attend their events.  At first, my son was too young for it, and later, they didn’t work for him due to his sensory processing disorder that I discussed a few weeks ago on here.  So I would send my partner or a mom to rep us at the event.  Entertainment events are often in Burbank or Glendale, far away from me.

I’m not really a movie person.  I had to be dragged kicking and screaming to see Arrival last week (and it was good!).  If it’s not reality, I don’t watch it (apart from The Affair, Bloodlines, etc).

People were going overboard in trying to get this invite, like it was the party of the year.  They would get a copy of a legit invite, delete the text directed at the influencer, and respond back like they were actually invited.


Here’s the thing – the event is just not good.  It’s a station most people have never heard of, characters that my kids don’t watch, not a very good experience or good food, basically, it’s just a so so outing.

The kind I kindly say I am unable to attend.  And yet, this massive FOMO was going on around it.  For what? An hour drive there, a so so experience, and an hour drive home with cranky kids.

Let’s take a step back

I am assuming most of you are married, as is 85% of my audience.  If you don’t fall into that group, just go with this.  Remember when all of your friends were going out on a Friday night, and you wanted to do nothing more than stay in your pajamas.  You had a looonnnngggg day, and you want to watch The Bachelor marathon while eating coconut ice cream and donuts in your comfiest pajamas.

But every moment you sit there, thinking, I wonder what they are doing.  Am I missing anything? Should I go out?

Looking back as a mom of two kids, I would LOVE to go back to that time and just CHERISH those mellow evenings with no responsibilities, without having to take care of anyone, wake up early, etc.  I also would love to go back and rock killer tight dresses and tiny bikinis in my pre-baby body and feel like a freaking amazing creature.  While I may not be a supermodel, I looked good, and I felt good.

We are all too hard on ourselves.  One friend gets a paid campaign and you think, why didn’t I get it? Why didn’t I get that invite? Why aren’t my posts getting as much love?

They could have a more established community, have a wider network, connected with a brand for some reason, maybe your name isn’t on their radar, maybe they needed influencers who met certain requirements.

What I do know is that if you do you, then you will be successful.  Don’t focus on them.  Don’t be distracted.  Don’t let your focus be pulled by fear.  Don’t let doubt creep in.  You be you!

One girl who has the most amazing Disney only feed was SO upset over some people being invited who have way lower engagement, mostly purchased followers, and very so so pictures.  She was so sad.  Then I pointed out, that girl was NOT INVITED!  You are letting someone get inside your head and impact you, and she was never at the event.  She used the event hashtag to make it seem like she was there, and she even used the nickname I made up for the event in her post (which wasn’t official, she found this out from me and had a FOMO).

So her FOMO created FOMO from a legit influencer with a beautiful feed and no reason to feel that way.

I have so much more to say on this topic, and it’s late.

But you do YOU.  You go what YOU WANT TO GO TO.  Don’t go to everything.  No one wants to see someone bragging about the things they get and you don’t, who share nothing of their personal life, focusing online on events and parties.

By being YOU – you are building your own brand.  You say no to things that don’t work.

One woman was asked to volunteer at a charitable house run by a controversial company as was I.  I agreed to do it, but knew I would never post about it.  That company doesn’t hit my message.  Why share that?  You can share your good deeds without referencing the company, or just do good and tell no one, right?  Doing things just for the sake of putting them on social media is usually not coming from the best place, right?

Okay more later…

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